I am coming to realise that self love and ultimately happiness is about knowing your purpose and being fulfilled in whatever it is that you do.
Perhaps your damaged core beliefs and past hurts have nothing to do with being successful.
That if you have a purpose and meaning to your existence that it is in fact what will make you happy.
It is like playing a new game you like, it challenges you in various ways and you are excited to wake up and do it and keep going and no matter how many times you fail the levels you keep going. The passion drives you and it is what is needed for true happiness. This is everlasting happiness derived just from you.
The accomplishment is insane and thrilling, it is what makes you feel so alive and pushes you to continue to try and be better.
I feel that I’m going through all this because I need to learn how to find my purpose in order to help others discover theirs.
It is funny because I woke up feeling very sad this morning, I have done nothing as I don’t feel motivated to do anything. Instead I have cried a little, cried for myself and felt sorry for myself because I told myself i am alone in a world that doesn’t understand me.
That perhaps I will never get the life I want or be who I want because I am lost and I don’t know how to find my life purpose.
I want to wake up and be so excited to play my game, my life and do it well and change lives and explore the world and make a difference. I want to have a purpose.
I think it is what I have been missing all my life and I just can’t seem to find it and realising this has hit home that it is not a man or a relationship I need, I just want my purpose.
Because even if I had him I would still wake up feeling sad every day.
Maybe I’m living my purpose without knowing it right now but maybe I have not yet claimed it or put a title on it and I’m not making a living from it which I would like to do. Maybe I am, maybe I’ll find out….l’ll just have to keep going.
Just like a relationship I don’t want to settle for just anything or anyone or any job. I just want my purpose.
So I believe that in addition to self love you must know your purpose and you must know what you want. I guess I’m going through this very difficult time in my life so I can learn how to know one’s purpose and how to know or learn what you want out of life!
I will keep you posted and let you know what happens next as of right now I just now 100% that I don’t need a relationship I just need my purpose.